{"id":607,"date":"2014-09-30T10:28:57","date_gmt":"2014-09-30T10:28:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/carolinegourlay.wordpress.com\/?p=321"},"modified":"2020-09-04T13:18:56","modified_gmt":"2020-09-04T13:18:56","slug":"the-hidden-dangers-of-modesty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.carolinegourlay.co.uk\/the-hidden-dangers-of-modesty\/","title":{"rendered":"Too much of a good thing – The hidden dangers of being too modest"},"content":{"rendered":"

No one likes a show off, right? We can all think of people who constantly bang on about how brilliant they are and what they\u2019ve achieved this month. People who make sure you know what their house is worth or tell you the detailed spec of their high end car and so on and so on. It grates and, frankly, it\u2019s not very British. So it\u2019s better to be modest, obviously. Well mostly. I want to highlight the hidden dangers of being too modest.<\/p>\n

Now you\u2019re probably thinking that I mean the risk of being overlooked. Modest people don\u2019t sell themselves enough and miss out on promotion, while their brasher colleagues get ahead. Sure, that\u2019s a danger. But you know about that already. It\u2019s obvious. I\u2019m thinking of something less immediately apparent \u2013 the impact of modesty on other people and, particularly, the impact of the modest manager.<\/p>\n

The modest manager<\/strong>
\n\"160371796_40cbade865_z\"<\/a>Despite their reticence, sometimes modest people do get promoted. I\u2019ve been working a lot with engineers lately and I\u2019ve met plenty of very modest, very senior managers. It would be ludicrous to suggest that all engineers are modest (and I\u2019ve certainly met some who really aren\u2019t) but engineering \u2013 and, perhaps, IT \u2013 seem to have more than their fair share of modest people. There seems to be a culture within these disciplines that says \u2018The work speaks for itself, so you don\u2019t need to\u2019. And that\u2019s where the problem starts.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Won\u2019t believe the hype<\/strong>
\nModest people can be incredibly intolerant of anyone who shows even the slightest sign of blowing their own trumpet. This presents particular problems when recruiting new staff (or, indeed, getting someone in to decorate your house or even buying a new car). Candidates come in eager to sell themselves; that\u2019s why they\u2019re there, right? But the modest manager can be put off or irritated by this. They may make the assumption that \u2018empty vessels make most noise\u2019 \u2013 according to this logic, the more someone brags, the less competent they are likely to be. In reality, of course, some really good people are quite comfortable talking about what they\u2019ve accomplished. The modest manager may fail to spot a talented individual because, not only do they not believe the hype, they positively reject it.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t let it go to your head<\/strong>
\nThe second risk for modest managers is that they are often very uncomfortable with recognition. They \"127165050_2ca947ed87_z\"<\/a>hate being singled out for special attention or praise. These are the kind of people who would stay away from an awards ceremony if there was any chance at all that they might actually win something. And that\u2019s fine for them. The danger is that they think their staff are \u2013 or should be \u2013 the same. So they may not give people sufficient recognition, praise or just thanks for a job well done. They don\u2019t need it, so why would anyone else? And, because they\u2019re often uncomfortable with appreciation, if they force themselves to do it, it may come across as awkward, stilted or insincere. If their staff are the type who want or need praise and recognition they can end up quite de-motivated. Sadly, the same can also be true of modest parents.<\/p>\n

The meek won\u2019t inherit the earth<\/strong>
\nOf course, modest managers can get around the problem by recruiting like-minded souls, forming a team who quietly get on with the job and don\u2019t make a song and dance of it. But someone has to push the accomplishments of the team. Whether it\u2019s selling the products and services the team produces or raising their profile within an organisation to ensure they get sufficient resources, the team has to have a voice \u2013 a voice that isn\u2019t too modest.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not advocating a world full of brash egotists, but don\u2019t overplay your modesty. As with most strengths, you really can have too much of a good thing.<\/p>\n

Photo credits<\/strong><\/p>\n

Peacock – Ken Douglas<\/a><\/p>\n

Man – Susan Sermoneta <\/a><\/p>\n

Woman – Avi Flamholz <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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