Myth #6: EQ is more important than IQ
In the latest in my series on workplace myths, I'm turning my attention to emotional intelligence. There are numerous articles out there claiming that, not only is emotional intelligence important, but that, for career success, it's more important than intelligence. But is it? Let's go back to basics: What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is the ability to: a) recognise and appropriately handle your own emotions and b) tune into others' emotions and respond with sensitivity. These are clearly important attributes, but how do they compare with intelligence in predicting career success? To answer that, you'd have to be able ...
Myth #5: Perfectionism is an allowable weakness
In the fifth of my series on workplace myths, I'm turning my attention to perfectionism. I'm sure you're all familiar with this hackneyed exchange: Interviewer: "What are your weaknesses?" Candidate: "Well sometimes I can get a bit perfectionist about my work". Job done. The candidate smiles inwardly knowing that a) what they really meant was "sometimes I'm just too damn good at my job" and b) it's definitely seen as an allowable weakness. In reality, that response deserves a follow up question, which rarely gets asked - "What strategies do you have in place to manage your perfectionism?" Because perfectionism ...
Three reasons why stress is a meaningless concept
Is your job stressful? Do you feel stressed right now? Or are some of your colleagues going through a stressful time? If so, you and your organisation would be fairly typical of the modern workplace. So given that I'm a psychologist, you're probably anticipating some tips on how to deal with workplace stress. Well, sorry to disappoint, but I actually want to suggest that the whole concept of stress is flawed to the point of being meaningless. Obviously, I'm not denying that people sometimes have a tough time at work. So what's wrong with describing that as 'stress'? Well here ...
Part 4: Caution emotion at work – How to handle personal and colleague envy
This is the final article in my series on emotion at work and this time I'm tackling the one that rarely gets talked about - envy, and its frequent companion, resentment. Whereas feeling anxious or angry is seen as fairly normal at work, envy seems to be more of a shameful secret. After all, if you're envious it means someone else has something you want but don't have. It could be something tangible, like a promotion or a business trip to the States, or it might be someone's characteristics - maybe they're smarter, more attractive or more popular than you. ...
Part 3: Caution emotion at work – How to handle someone else’s anger at work
This is the third in a series on emotion at work. Having looked last time at how to handle your own anger at work, this month I'm focusing on dealing with someone else's anger. Angry people can be intimidating, so it's useful to have strategies for dealing with them, depending on where their anger is directed. 1. Rage against the machine The photocopier has jammed for the umpteenth time just as your colleague is preparing copies of a really important document. Your colleague snaps. This is probably the easiest example of anger to deal with as you can probably just ...
Part 2: Caution emotion at work – How to handle your anger at work
This is the second in a short series on emotion at work. Last month I tackled anxiety, this month I'm moving on to anger. I realised while writing this that there's enough to say about handling your own anger at work to fill an article, so I'm saving other people's anger til next time. Anger tends to be the emotion we're most wary of but in itself it's perfectly healthy. It's what we do with it that makes it scary. There are a number of unhelpful ways to handle anger and many of us have default settings, though they may ...
Part 1: Caution emotion at work – Managing and supporting personal anxiety
Wouldn't it be great if work was a place of calm and rationality all the time? Somewhere where you didn't have to deal with messy feelings - yours or anyone else's. In the not too distant future, when we've mostly been replaced by robots, that'll probably be the case, but until then emotions will remain an integral part of work. They're part of what makes us human. On the other hand, the regulation, and appropriate expression, of those emotions is what makes us mature humans. So with that in mind, I thought I'd do a short series on feelings at ...
Five strategies for avoiding conflict and why you should ditch them all
What do you think of when you hear the word 'conflict'? I think for a lot of us, conflict conjures up a particularly bad Eastenders' Christmas - raised voices, harsh words, fists flying, someone trying to calm things down by saying "Leave it Barry, he ain't worth it". In fact, many of us are so afraid of this kind of conflict that we are masters at staying away from it altogether. Brits are renowned for not really saying what we mean. Just think how many layers of meaning we can get into the word 'fine' - "No really, I'm fine"; "Fine, ...
Can I trust you? Six aspects of human interaction where questions of trust arise
I've been thinking a lot about trust lately, partly because I've been working with teams. Trust is the bedrock of team work, but the more I talk and read about it, the more I realise that we're not always talking about the same thing. It's not as straightforward as 'I trust you or I don't'. It's not even about trusting some people more than others. What people rarely seem to discuss is what it is that we might trust people to do or not do. Fundamentally, trust seems to boil down to the question, 'In my interactions with you, will ...
Think you’re a good listener? Seven scenarios where you might not be listening as well as you could
How good a listener are you? I was reminded of the importance of good listening recently while attending a talk by a coach who brings real focus and attention to her coaching. Her clients really do get a damn good listening to. I like to think that mine do too, but it made me reflect on the times when perhaps I don't listen as well as I could. I think most of us could benefit from improving our listening skills, so with that in mind, here are seven scenarios to watch out for, when you really might not listen as well as you ...
Myth #6: EQ is more important than IQ
In the latest in my series on workplace myths, I'm turning my attention to emotional intelligence. There are numerous articles out there claiming that, not only is emotional intelligence important, but that, for career success, it's more important than intelligence. But is it? Let's go back to basics: What is emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is the ability to: a) recognise and appropriately handle your own emotions and b) tune into others' emotions and respond with sensitivity. These are clearly important attributes, but how do they compare with intelligence in predicting career success? To answer that, you'd have to be able ...
Myth #5: Perfectionism is an allowable weakness
In the fifth of my series on workplace myths, I'm turning my attention to perfectionism. I'm sure you're all familiar with this hackneyed exchange: Interviewer: "What are your weaknesses?" Candidate: "Well sometimes I can get a bit perfectionist about my work". Job done. The candidate smiles inwardly knowing that a) what they really meant was "sometimes I'm just too damn good at my job" and b) it's definitely seen as an allowable weakness. In reality, that response deserves a follow up question, which rarely gets asked - "What strategies do you have in place to manage your perfectionism?" Because perfectionism ...
Three reasons why stress is a meaningless concept
Is your job stressful? Do you feel stressed right now? Or are some of your colleagues going through a stressful time? If so, you and your organisation would be fairly typical of the modern workplace. So given that I'm a psychologist, you're probably anticipating some tips on how to deal with workplace stress. Well, sorry to disappoint, but I actually want to suggest that the whole concept of stress is flawed to the point of being meaningless. Obviously, I'm not denying that people sometimes have a tough time at work. So what's wrong with describing that as 'stress'? Well here ...
Part 4: Caution emotion at work – How to handle personal and colleague envy
This is the final article in my series on emotion at work and this time I'm tackling the one that rarely gets talked about - envy, and its frequent companion, resentment. Whereas feeling anxious or angry is seen as fairly normal at work, envy seems to be more of a shameful secret. After all, if you're envious it means someone else has something you want but don't have. It could be something tangible, like a promotion or a business trip to the States, or it might be someone's characteristics - maybe they're smarter, more attractive or more popular than you. ...
Part 3: Caution emotion at work – How to handle someone else’s anger at work
This is the third in a series on emotion at work. Having looked last time at how to handle your own anger at work, this month I'm focusing on dealing with someone else's anger. Angry people can be intimidating, so it's useful to have strategies for dealing with them, depending on where their anger is directed. 1. Rage against the machine The photocopier has jammed for the umpteenth time just as your colleague is preparing copies of a really important document. Your colleague snaps. This is probably the easiest example of anger to deal with as you can probably just ...
Part 2: Caution emotion at work – How to handle your anger at work
This is the second in a short series on emotion at work. Last month I tackled anxiety, this month I'm moving on to anger. I realised while writing this that there's enough to say about handling your own anger at work to fill an article, so I'm saving other people's anger til next time. Anger tends to be the emotion we're most wary of but in itself it's perfectly healthy. It's what we do with it that makes it scary. There are a number of unhelpful ways to handle anger and many of us have default settings, though they may ...
Part 1: Caution emotion at work – Managing and supporting personal anxiety
Wouldn't it be great if work was a place of calm and rationality all the time? Somewhere where you didn't have to deal with messy feelings - yours or anyone else's. In the not too distant future, when we've mostly been replaced by robots, that'll probably be the case, but until then emotions will remain an integral part of work. They're part of what makes us human. On the other hand, the regulation, and appropriate expression, of those emotions is what makes us mature humans. So with that in mind, I thought I'd do a short series on feelings at ...
Five strategies for avoiding conflict and why you should ditch them all
What do you think of when you hear the word 'conflict'? I think for a lot of us, conflict conjures up a particularly bad Eastenders' Christmas - raised voices, harsh words, fists flying, someone trying to calm things down by saying "Leave it Barry, he ain't worth it". In fact, many of us are so afraid of this kind of conflict that we are masters at staying away from it altogether. Brits are renowned for not really saying what we mean. Just think how many layers of meaning we can get into the word 'fine' - "No really, I'm fine"; "Fine, ...
Can I trust you? Six aspects of human interaction where questions of trust arise
I've been thinking a lot about trust lately, partly because I've been working with teams. Trust is the bedrock of team work, but the more I talk and read about it, the more I realise that we're not always talking about the same thing. It's not as straightforward as 'I trust you or I don't'. It's not even about trusting some people more than others. What people rarely seem to discuss is what it is that we might trust people to do or not do. Fundamentally, trust seems to boil down to the question, 'In my interactions with you, will ...
Think you’re a good listener? Seven scenarios where you might not be listening as well as you could
How good a listener are you? I was reminded of the importance of good listening recently while attending a talk by a coach who brings real focus and attention to her coaching. Her clients really do get a damn good listening to. I like to think that mine do too, but it made me reflect on the times when perhaps I don't listen as well as I could. I think most of us could benefit from improving our listening skills, so with that in mind, here are seven scenarios to watch out for, when you really might not listen as well as you ...
